I bid You A Farewell…Until Next Time…

Wow…….I literally haven’t posted on this blog since 2012…..what in the hell was I doing back then lol.

I’m positive none of you remember me and that might be for the better. No one is probably even reading this but if you are I hope this post finds you in good spirits. I originally started this blog in 2010 which would have made me um…*fails at mental math* let’s just say very a early 20 something year old. it’s now 2021 and I’m grown 32 year old with a full face of facial hair and a hairline that’s seen better days.

I’d be here forever if I were to list out everywhere life has taken me since I first started this blog. I finished college, went to an audio institute, decided after that institute that I actually didn’t want to record music for a living, job hopped around, started writing again, had health issues but bounced back, started and ended a podcast, wrote a book (currently working on part two), started another blog (which i also fell off of posting on lol) I’ve been all over the place with life. Sadly the Minilaptop that’s my avatar on here and the inspiration for my original name also passed after a tragic accident involving a milk spill (hold a moment of silence please). But through everything I’ve been pushing a long, making the best of this crazy life as much as I can.

I probably won’t post on this blog again, as since this original time I’m definitely not the same person I was before. So please don’t hold me to the flame for any wild things I may have said on this blog. I was but a young padawan back then who didn’t know much. Honestly I still don’t know much but I’m a little smarter now.

This is my last scream in the void on this blog. I won’t delete it though, it’ll be interesting to look back on here and see how much of me has changed and what’s stayed the same. If you’d like to keep up with me you can follow me on Twitter and Twitch where I struggle at video games but I try to make it entertaining.

Well…this is the man formerly known as Minilaptop signing off for the last time….until next time….y’all be easy.

An introverted black guy

If I had to classify myself as a certain type of person then an introvert would probably be the most fitting label. I thoroughly enjoy my peace and quiet, I love sitting in silence and thinking, pretty much anything that involves solitude I find some type of pleasure in.

As someone who enjoys his alone time, I really despise when people nag endlessly about how I NEED to get out and go to a club/bar/party/random social event etc. Now, if you’re the type of person enjoys always going out, partying, doing the robot on the dance floor (I actually enjoy doing the robot to), getting drunk, then more power to you, I won’t stop you from having your good time. But for me, that whole scene is just kind of eh, it doesn’t make either of us wrong or right for liking or disliking it, we’re just different.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate you looking out for my well being, I know your intentions are sincere, you just want me to go out and have a good time. But the thing is some of us in the world don’t really enjoy huge social interactions, they don’t stimulate us and therefore they aren’t enjoyable.

You might think this is crazy. or that it makes me a loner, or antisocial or whatever you’d like to call it. But I find quiet, peace and solitude just as fun as you find partying and social gatherings. Some will have you believe that if you enjoy staying to yourself then there’s something wrong, as if we all should be these wild social creatures, constantly breathing down each others throats. As stated before, if being extremely social is your thing then don’t let me get in your way, I just happen to find that I’m happiest when I’m not around a large group of others, it doesn’t make either of us right or wrong, we’re just different.

My social life operates usually in one of two ways. either a need to, or a pleasure basis. The need to basis is simple, if I have to talk to you to accomplish whatever it may be that I need to get done then we will have conversation.This includes things like me calling tech support because I have a repeated problem with breaking laptops, paying a bill over the phone, ordering food and things of that nature. Then we have the pleasure basis, which is where I choose to interact because I get some time enjoyment out of it. This includes joking with friends, talking with family, trying to tell a coworker why he needs to man up and talk to the cute cashier who works up front. It also includes one on one intimate conversations, not necessarily sexual, but those types of verbal exchanges when you really get to know someone and you can learn from them. For me, most large social events don’t evoke that pleasure, there’s no enjoyment, no fulfillment, just me in a large room standing in a corner, silently people watching as every one else enjoys the festivities.

So, the next time I decline your request to go out, I’m not avoiding you, or trying to be an ass. I’m probably inside somewhere quiet, with me, my music, my thoughts and a bowl of cereal, which is more than enough fun for me.

Squirrel Wars

In my good ol college days I took a writing for electronic media class. My final project ended up being a 30 page script for an animated film called Squirrel Wars. Unfortunately I don’t know anyone who animates so the story stayed on paper and never made it to a screen. But I enjoyed writing it so much that I decided to stretch it out into a full length screenplay. If you decide to read it, or skim through it (but you should read it, because for every line you read a small penguin in Antarctica will be saved) then I hope you enjoy reading it just as much as I enjoyed creating it. I’m hoping to get some honest feedback, I’ll post the synopsis and link to the full script below. If you decide to read the full script the PDF download link is on the right side.  Remember, read a line, save a penguin.

 

SYNOPSIS: Kung Fu squirrel enthusiast Buzz and his brother Roy live peacefully on the edge of the forest, next to the main populated area known as Squirrel Town. One day, after they awaken from a forest adventure, Squirrel Town is threatened by a group of raccoons, who plan to invade and take over their territory. To protect their home, Buzz and Roy become part of the Squirrel Town army and go to battle with the Raccoons. Along the way, Buzz unlocks his hidden potential, through the use of Kung Fu, and sheer determination.

 

LINK: http://studios.amazon.com/scripts/28154

A Wu Tang Story

Awhile back a friend of mine challenged me to write a story that contained three elements.

The iconic hip hop group the Wu Tang Clan

Monkeys

And a hot air balloon

Being as I was bored with nothing to do, I completed the task, and once I finished I thoroughly enjoyed how it turned out. So I’ve decided that I’m going to try to make my challenges a weekly series. If you’d like to in the comments below, list three things, they can be closely related to each other or not related at all and if I enjoy your ideas I will attempt to incorporate them into a short story. They can be people, objects, anything you can think of. Just keep in mind that I won’t be posting the stories until next week, I have to balance this with work, other projects that I’m working and it takes me awhile to come up with solid concepts.

And as for the Wu Tang Story I mentioned, of course I’m not gonna just mention it without posting it,enjoy.

Sidenote: I didn’t include every member of the Wu Tang Clan in the story, the group is too large and I was too lazy to attempt to fit them all in.

The mission was simple was and straight forward, walk into the monkey clan headquarters, decapitate anything in the fortress that wasn’t human and retrieve the golden stone that would bring Ol Dirty Bastard back to life. Though the task seemed simple, it must be mentioned that the monkey clan has never been defeated, their tyrannical reign of terror has brought upon death to all of those who have dared oppose them. But If there was one positive to be mentioned in all of this, it would be that the Wu Tang Clan has also never been defeated in battle, the motto which is boldly printed on the back of each member states that “Wu Tang Clan Ain’t Nothin To Fuck With”. This statement, as many have found out by firsthand experience is very true, for the members of the Wu Tang Clan have maliciously slaughtered those who felt they were brave enough to prove the moniker wrong, thus proving that they are indeed nothing to fuck with. RZA, the black sage samurai, Method Man, the executioner, Inspectah Deck, the assassin and Raekwon, the butcher, collectively form the super unit known as the Wu Tang Clan.

The Clan never practiced finesse or thoroughly planned out their missions and this time would be no different. The method, which stayed consistent and effective throughout the years was to simply show up and wreck shop until no one was left breathing. They approached the fortress entrance, immediately bashing the door to the ground. Upon entering the golden stone could instantly be seen, it sat high upon a statue in the back of the room, emitting a heavenly glow. The only thing that stood between the clan and the stone, was space and an opportunity to kill every monkey in the room.

“The Wu Tang, how dare you enter this fortress!” shouted the angry primate leader of the monkey clan. “You know what we came here for, hand over the stone or I’ll have your head,” calmly replied RZA, who grips the handle of his sword. Not willing to wait for a reply Method Man jumped into action. In boomerang like fashion he releases his short sword in the air, it returned to him with the stained blood of six headless monkey’s that now lie motionless on the floor. “We told you in 93 to protect ya neck muthafucka!” exclaimed a confident Method Man. Another wave of monkeys drop from the ceiling leaving the clan surrounded. With no way to go but directly through the enemy, each clan member goes head first into battle. RZA parries incoming attacks and delivers fatal counter incisions with his katana blade. Raekwon rushes through the crowd, butchering enemies in all directions with his two machetes. With a fetish for removing limbs and heads Method Man and his short sword send numerous body parts soaring through the air. The quick and nimble Inspectah deck continuously flips through the air while throwing ninja stars into the heads of oncoming monkeys. Inspectah continues his acrobatic antics until he reaches the back of the room, he then launches himself off of a monkey’s head as he soars to the top of the statue where the golden stone is placed. Quickly he rushes to the stone, “Welcome back ol dirty,” says Inspectah as he throws the stone to the ceiling. The golden stones glow begins to intensify, it then explodes releasing a cloud of golden smoke.

“Oh it’s on now niggas!” Yells Ol Dirty Bastard as he emerges from the smoke, holding a gold bladed staff.  The monkey clan leader stares frozen in shock as Ol Dirty descends upon him, the golden blade vertically rips through the monkey clan leader’s body, cutting him in directly in half. OL Dirty’s staff begins to glow as he now spins around in circles, after reaching his peak speed Ol Dirty swings the staff which releases a massive tornado projectile that wipes out nearly every monkey clan member in the room. Though victory seemed promising, the moment was short lived as 3 more waves of monkey clan soldiers emerged. “They just don’t stop, we gotta get outta this muthafucka,” exclaimed Raekwon as he slowly backed toward the door. “Wu Tang retreat,” commanded RZA as all of the members dashed out of the entrance with the Monkey clan following closely behind. “How the hell are we getting out of here?” asked a confused Method Man. Off in the distance was a tied down air balloon at the edge of the cliff. Thinking ahead, Inspectah Deck throws his ninjas stars, cutting the ropes which held down the air balloon. The Wu Tang members begin to pick up speed as the air balloon begins to lift off. The tall longed limbed Method Man is the first to jump onto the balloon with the rest of the clan following after. “Deuces you banana eating bastards,” laughed Method Man as the clan soared off into the sky.

The friend zone, rejection and where we all went wrong

I’ve been meaning for the longest time to make another post about this. Since the last time I’ve talked about this I’ve gained a much different perspective on how to deal with the death trap known as the friend zone. But before I start to blab off I have to make a few disclaimers

• I’ve never really been in a real relationship and much of this advice I probably need to start using myself.

• This post is not going to teach you how to escape the friend zone, you and I both know that’s impossible.

So, now that we have this understood, let’s proceed.

The first question we normally all ask is simple, “How do i get out of the friend zone?” And with this question, we’re already starting off on the wrong foot and are destined for failure. Once you’ve reached the point that you find yourself answering this question then it’s already too late, because to get out of the friend zone means that you’re already in it, which also means you’re trapped there for pretty much an eternity.

The problem for most of us is that we approach the friend zone with a reactive instead of proactive attitude. Instead of figuring out how to get out you need to find ways to prevent and maneuver around it before it even happens. To accomplish this, you have to stay in active pursuit of what you want.

After you meet somebody and they pass all of the basic tests. you know, they’re not mentally unstable, they have some basic level of intelligence, sense of humor etc then you need to decide what it is you want from that person and act accordingly.

If you want to reach a destination in a timely manner then at some point you have to start driving forward, many of just sit kind of sit around stuck in park, waiting for a divine intervention to occur. If you know this person is someone that you really want then you’re going to have to put some work in for it.

And for my male counterparts, we’re gonna have to start approaching these situations a little different than before, I mean, you really have no choice because obviously what we’ve been doing isn’t working or none of us would be having this problem and you wouldn’t even be reading this blog right now. If you’re genuinely a nice guy, what I’m about to say is probably not going to be the easiest thing in the world to do, but we have to stop being “such good friends”. You’ve heard that phrase before right? She told you that you were “such a good friend”, and where did that land you? Right in the four wall enclosed walls of the friend zone, it happened so fast that you didn’t even know what was going on.

Now I’m not suggesting that you morph into a decepticon and transform into an asshole, but certain habits are going to have to be slightly adjusted. I’m 100% sure, that at one point before you got friend zoned you did at least one of the following things.

• Talked to her extensively about all of her relationship/guy problems
• Answered her every call with no hesitation
• Had hours of conversation with her, but little to none of the conversation really had anything to do with you
• Became her personal guidance counselor for her every need and issue

I have and still do some of these things listed until it hit me, the little voice in the back of my head grew some bass in his voice and told me very bluntly, “you don’t have time for that shit.” The thing is, while my intentions were good, it was counter productive to what I was trying to accomplish, I’m not a guidance counselor, I’m not a psychologist, I can’t solve every problem in the world and until I get paid to do such then I’m not engaging in any of those shenanigans. The more you start having these absurdly long conversations about all of her problems/relationship issues the closer you drift to being a friend, not a boyfriend, just a friend. All of that time you put into those conversations could have been used to flirt, have real conversations (You know, ones that are actually about you and her, not her and other guys) and make moves so you can get closer to your goal. To briefly summarize all of what I’m trying to say, once you know what you want, you go for it, and if that person doesn’t seem to be on the same page or things aren’t headed in the direction that you desire then abort the mission and find someone else. There’s no need to further waste your time and theirs on something that isn’t going to work. Don’t sit and wait around for this to happen, you’ve probably been told you’re just a friend enough times to know the signs of when it’s about to happen. When those red flags start going off then exit stage left and move onward to someone else. Always remember, PROactive not REactive.

Lastly, before I finish blabbing off, I have to address one last thing, rejection. We have to understand, that rejection is just a part of life it’s going to happen sooner or later and most likely repeatedly. You’ll never successfully have a chance to be in a relationship with every person you desire, it’s just not realistic. If you pursue a person and they shut you down, for whatever reason, you just have to get over it. Don’t waste time over analyzing the situation, it’s simple, they just didn’t like you. It doesn’t mean you’re not attractive, or that you’re a bad person, or that they’re a bad person it just simply mean you two probably weren’t meant for each other. It’s not the end of the world, just move on and find someone else who is worth your time.

So, um, yeah, guess that’s all I wanted to say, didn’t think this post would be this long. As a reward for reading this you get free virtual pizza

Peace, love and fruit loops, hope you enjoyed the read, if not, I hope your shower water turns cold the next time you try and clean yourself. Until next time, have a good one, peace.

Finally I found me

So, it’s been quite some time since I’ve last used this site, but I can say with 99.9% confidence that I’m officially back and will soon be regularly posting again. Since I’ve last posted here I’ve evolved by leaps and bounds as a person/writer etc. For a few years, I had kind of lost my passion for writing, I wasn’t to sure of what I wanted to do with my life, so I put down my pencil and began exploring other areas that peaked my interest.

If you know me personally you know that music is a major part of my life, even as I’m typing now I have the Tenchu Stealth Assassins intro theme blasting into my headphones. Audio engineering had always something that I had done as a hobby, it wasn’t a natural talent, but something that I practiced enough to where I had gotten to be pretty decent at it. Combining those skills with my love for music, I figured becoming an audio engineer would pretty much be the perfect job for me. I mean, who wouldn’t want to get paid to sit in a studio and record music until you go deaf?

Since I was sure this was the path I wanted to take, I went to a recording institute to gain more knowledge on the techniques of engineering. Though in the long run I ended up not choosing music as my career path (I’ll go more in depth a bit later) I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything in the world. I got a chance to meet some amazingly talented people and I had second to none the coolest professors on the planet. That may have been the first and only time in my entire educational career that every day I looked forward to going to class because I knew I was going to learn about something that I actually cared about.

Though the experience was all I could have asked for, eventually reality started to set in, it was hard to accept it but it had hit me that even after spending over 100 classroom hours/lab time learning about recording music, that it honestly wasn’t something I could see myself doing for the rest of my life. It didn’t give me the real joy that I was looking for and it only partially filled the void.

I ended up having to go back to community college (long story that I don’t feel like talking about) to take a digital video class. The first major assignment was that we all were to write down ideas for short films and these ideas were to be shared to the class. I wasn’t to enthusiastic about this assignment, I thought I was done with college and yet I found myself back in a classroom that I never thought I would have to return to. Though I had my idea fully written out, I had contemplated not presenting it, but that little voice in the back of my head made me get up and share my semi creative idea with my peers. To my surprise, once I was done presenting my idea, enough people liked it to where it was decided that it would be turned into one of the short films that the class would work on.

Since the story was all originally my idea, it only made sense that I would be the one to write the script, and as I began writing that night it all finally started to click. With every page that passion that I had put to the side for years started to resurface, I was finally creating again, I was doing what I did since I was just a small child, I was writing. That empty space and void was filled again and for the short time while I was writing that script I was genuinely happy. My hard work eventually ended up paying off as I won the best script award at our colleges film festival.

And this brings me to now. I don’t have to think about it anymore, I’m not confused about what I want out of life. It’s simple, if I’m not writing then I’m not happy, it’s just that simple and point blank. Every thing else I do to make ends meet is temporary until I can somehow make my living by writing and expressing my creativity to the world. Now that this blog has been resurrected, I plan on posting much more content which will include short stories, scripts, blogs about life and whatever else is floating around inside my head.

If you’ve taken the time to read this I appreciate it, if not, then I hope you step barefoot on a Lego, peace love and crunch berries, you’ll be hearing from me again soon.

Haven’t been here in a good 1000 years

I don’t even know if anyone still reads my blog, I doubt it being that I haven’t posted anything in the last century. But in case if there is one soul out there who is reading this, I guess I can give a little update on my life as of late.  Next month on the 27th I will have officially survived this world for 22 years, the closer my birthday gets the more I start to reflect on my life. Part of me feels like I haven’t accomplished as much as I think I could have but another part of me realizes that I still have some time to accomplish all of my crazy hopes and dreams, When June 9th finally decides to get here my educational journey will officially be over. After that day I have no intentions on returning back to any school or college for quite some time. From this summer forward I plan on chasing all of my dreams, I need to make things happen for myself and I honestly feel like at this time in my life I have the drive to get it done. Also I would like to finally start getting serious about getting in shape this summer, my goal of abs is still in sight and I feel that the time is now for me reach my full physical potential. Finally, I declare that by the end of this year I will finish this screenplay that I have been working on since the beginning of time. It’s only about 20 pages away from being finished so the finish line is not too far out of sight. I guess other than that I don’t have much to think about that I can update on. If you’re interested in contacting me I run a much more active Tumblr blog (http://minilaptop410.tumblr.com/) where I pretty much post music and random things that catch my four eyes. Well folks, that’s about it from me. If you took the time to read this then you’re pretty awesome, until next time i’m out.

2010: A year in review

Well folks it’s about that time, 2010 is about to be a faded memory and the new chapter of 2011 is soon to be under way.  For me, this year almost happened too fast, every thing was happening all at once in rapid pace. So this is a  moment to sit back and reflect on what was actually one of the better years of my life.

At the years start life was was much more rocky than I had hoped it would be. For the first time I was extremely uncertain of my future, I was out of school, living everyday with what seemed like no direct purpose. My finances were completely down the drain, I had no clue if I was ever going to be back in a school classroom again, I had no laptop to write with and the lack of having wheels of transportation was beginning not only to take its toll on me but the rest of my family is well.  But if there is one constant lesson in life that I have learned and constantly been reminded of, it’s that without struggle there is no true progress. The pain always becomes before the glory and I embrace the challenge of the pain, it just makes the glory that much more worth it when the obstacle is conquered.

I eventually landed a seasonal warehouse job and While it didn’t last as long as my wallet needed it to, it definitely served its purpose.  Saving up every penny I got my hands on I managed to save up for a new laptop (I killed my old laptop with a great splash of milk, RIP to my minilaptop) and pay for the tags of the car of that my dad had bought me. Soon after that I would embark on a long arduous three month journey to find a loan that would pay for a new school that I was trying to attend. Three trillion loan rejections and two million phone calls later, my dad pulled out a miracle and was finally able to get a loan that basically paid for all of my schooling. This would be another victory under my belt in the year of 2010, the way I looked at it, I was winning in life with a record of 3-0 so far and I intend to stretch out the score even further.

I don’t know how I managed to keep my head on straight in the midst of such uncertainty, when your funds are depleted and money seems to fly opposite your direction quitting seems like it’s the only way out. But I for one don’t take losing for answer, it’s just not in my character, it never has and never will be. I accomplished all of my major goals in 2010 and if I play my cards right, the year 2011 should be nothing less than epic, as I plan on adding many more victory notches under my belt in this game against life.

So how was your 2010 and how do you envision your 2011?

Here’s your free family guy video for reading my blog.

Song of the day (11/22/10)

Nothing compares to the sound of a smooth saxophone.

 

 

Terrorist, lying and light sabers

If you’ve ever argued with a member of the female species, then my Minilaptop statistics indicate that there is a 120% chance that you were unanimously defeated in the debate. After living under my mothers roof I’ve realized the two basic principles to remember when arguing with a woman.

1. If you’re right, you’re wrong.

2.If you’re wrong, you’re dead wrong and you probably shouldn’t even utter one single syllable.

Though these two basic principles apply in every male vs female confrontation I have come to my fellow men with a third option. Now this option won’t help you win the argument, in fact, it might not even work at all. But if you’re already arguing with a woman then you’ve already put yourself in a lose lose situation, so this can’t make things any worse, or maybe it well. (Shrugs shoulders)

If you ever find your back against the wall, trading verbal jabs with a female counterpart then your only chance of survival is to abandon all of your human logic and say the most extreme outrageous thing that your peanut sized brain can think of. Now I don’t mean outrageous as in offensive, I mean outrageous as in when she hears the amount of vocal garbage that is spewing from your throat, she won’t even know how to respond to it. The goal is to say something so off the wall, so out of this universe, that she has to literally stop and figure out what in the hell you’re actually talking about.

EXAMPLE:

Sarah is going through Joe’s cell phone and happens to stumble across nude photos of a woman she suspects Joe is secretly fornicating with.

Sarah: Joe, what the hell is this? I knew you were cheating on me, how could you?

Joe: Babe, it’s not what it looks like.

Sarah: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE?  WHY ARE THESE PICTURES EVEN ON YOUR PHONE YOU BASTARD? YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A LIAR!

Joe: ALRIGHT, YEAH I CHEATED! SO WHAT? IF I HADN’T HAVE CHEATED THE TERRORIST WOULD HAVE WON, YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN?!

Now lets stop. Sarah is probably asking herself the following the questions:

1. Is this guy crazy?

2. Who in the hell are the terrorist?

3. What is he even talking about?

In these seconds of mental confusion Joe needs to grab his keys and immediately leave the household. Staying one extra second will allow Sarah to regain composure and continue her verbal assault. While Joe is out on his escape route he should probably be thinking of a more believable lie (Preferably one that doesn’t mention terrorist), had he stayed in the argument and thought while on his feet, his first sentence would have immediately got him caught in a lie, at least now he has bought himself some valuable time.

Now this technique doesn’t necessarily only have to be used in infidelity issues, it can easily transfer over to regular simple petty arguments.

EXAMPLE:

Greg has an important job which causes him to work very long hours. These long hours often cause Greg to return home well after the sun has gone down, which causes Greg and Lisa not to be able to spend as much time together as they would like to. While Greg has never shown any signs of foul play, Lisa always questions his faithfulness out of anger in their arguments.

Lisa: You always come home so late and you never spend anytime with me.

Greg: I’m sorry, but you know have bills to pay, if you don’t work you don’t eat. I promise we’ll go out this weekend.

Lisa: You always say this weekend, how come we only go out once a week?

Greg: Please lets not do this now.

Lisa: Why don’t you get your hours changed? Are you seeing somebody else? WHY CAN’T YOU EVER COME HOME AT A REASONABLE TIME?

Greg: YOU KNOW WHY I NEVER COME HOME AT A REASONABLE TIME? BECAUSE ON THE WAY HOME I ALWAYS GET ROBBED BY DARTH VADER’S IMPERIAL ARMY! YOU EVER HAD TO DODGE A DAMN LIGHT SABER LISA?! HUH? HAVE YOU?

At this point, Lisa doesn’t really know what happened and judging by the fact  that many women hate star wars, I’m willing to bet that for at least the next ten minutes Mr. Greg can enjoy some silence as Lisa attempts to figure out a rebuttal.

So remember, the next time you’re in an argument, be spontaneous and say something stupid. While there is no guarantee that the following technique will work, it will at least make your argument entertaining, it might even buy you enough time to come up with a more feasible lie or comeback.  If you do happen to try this or have tried it, drop a comment and let me know how it turned out, as I’m sure the outcome was nothing short of interesting.

Disclaimer: Minilaptop does not encourage lies or infidelity, but I do encourage a creative mind.