Posts Tagged ‘social life’

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An introverted black guy

November 11, 2012

If I had to classify myself as a certain type of person then an introvert would probably be the most fitting label. I thoroughly enjoy my peace and quiet, I love sitting in silence and thinking, pretty much anything that involves solitude I find some type of pleasure in.

As someone who enjoys his alone time, I really despise when people nag endlessly about how I NEED to get out and go to a club/bar/party/random social event etc. Now, if you’re the type of person enjoys always going out, partying, doing the robot on the dance floor (I actually enjoy doing the robot to), getting drunk, then more power to you, I won’t stop you from having your good time. But for me, that whole scene is just kind of eh, it doesn’t make either of us wrong or right for liking or disliking it, we’re just different.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate you looking out for my well being, I know your intentions are sincere, you just want me to go out and have a good time. But the thing is some of us in the world don’t really enjoy huge social interactions, they don’t stimulate us and therefore they aren’t enjoyable.

You might think this is crazy. or that it makes me a loner, or antisocial or whatever you’d like to call it. But I find quiet, peace and solitude just as fun as you find partying and social gatherings. Some will have you believe that if you enjoy staying to yourself then there’s something wrong, as if we all should be these wild social creatures, constantly breathing down each others throats. As stated before, if being extremely social is your thing then don’t let me get in your way, I just happen to find that I’m happiest when I’m not around a large group of others, it doesn’t make either of us right or wrong, we’re just different.

My social life operates usually in one of two ways. either a need to, or a pleasure basis. The need to basis is simple, if I have to talk to you to accomplish whatever it may be that I need to get done then we will have conversation.This includes things like me calling tech support because I have a repeated problem with breaking laptops, paying a bill over the phone, ordering food and things of that nature. Then we have the pleasure basis, which is where I choose to interact because I get some time enjoyment out of it. This includes joking with friends, talking with family, trying to tell a coworker why he needs to man up and talk to the cute cashier who works up front. It also includes one on one intimate conversations, not necessarily sexual, but those types of verbal exchanges when you really get to know someone and you can learn from them. For me, most large social events don’t evoke that pleasure, there’s no enjoyment, no fulfillment, just me in a large room standing in a corner, silently people watching as every one else enjoys the festivities.

So, the next time I decline your request to go out, I’m not avoiding you, or trying to be an ass. I’m probably inside somewhere quiet, with me, my music, my thoughts and a bowl of cereal, which is more than enough fun for me.

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Nice guys, nerds and confusion

November 17, 2010

Last night turned out to be one of those nights where I had to force youtube to conquer my ongoing battle with boredom. Eventually my youtube searching led me to watch several videos about the never ending debate of why nice guys finish last. Now I won’t get into the nice guy debate, that’s another blog for another day and I just don’t have the energy to even give my input on that subject. But what I will touch on, is what I see as a massive flaw as to what several peoples definition of what a nice guy was.

We need to get this clear people, a nice guy and a pushover ARE NOT SYNONYMOUS, I repeat are NOT SYNONYMOUS. I don’t know who told you that these terms were the same thing but whoever gave you that information should be scissor kicked in the forehead.

Allow me to give you my Minilaptop definitions of these terms and examine them further.

1. Pushover- An individual who is severely lacking in the area known as the backbone. This person exhibits qualities of not being able to defend themselves in verbal confrontations and may even go as far as to switch their view on a certain subjects to align with the opposing party just to avoid the inevitable tension. They may also have a very difficult problem of expressing themselves due to the  fear of the potential backlash that they may receive.

2. Nice guy- A respectful member of the male species. Has the ability to pay attention while in conversation with a female instead of just hearing “blah blah blah.” He is also able to be supportive in situations when needed and can handle confrontations in a reasonable fashion. Usually this person has a mid to high level of intelligence and is a pretty reliable human being. Common traits of a nice guy can be but are not limited to: Respectful, trustworthy and caring. There is also a chance that this individual may be a tad bit shy.

Now, anyone with at least half of a cranium can see that clearly the terms pushover and nice guy should not be used interchangeably. Both terms describe two types of people who couldn’t be more different. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not implying  that a pushover can’t be a nice guy or vice versa but, generally speaking in my eyes the core characteristics of each term share more differences than similarities.

And while I’m on the subject of terms and their definitions I must ask the world, what exactly is a nerd?

I used to have the tape problem, it was very uncomfortable.

Merriam Webster defines the word nerd as the following:  “An unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person; especially one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits.”

As soon as I read this definition I mentally drew that evil squiggly red line that Microsoft word uses to let you know when you’ve spelled something wrong.  Let me break this definition down so you can see why my four eyes found every thing with this definition to be incorrect.

An unstylish- I don’t think being unstylish has anything to do with being a nerd, it just means you don’t necessarily have the best fashion taste in mind.

unattractive- No explanation needed, it just means you’re facially challenged and by this definition all unattractive people would be nerds which you and I both know is very false.

Socially inept person- A.K.A. you’re just plain awkward, but a nerd? I don’t know, I’m just not seeing it.

one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits- This is the only part of the definition that I can slightly agree with. But at the same time I don’t fault anybody for being extremely smart, hell if I had to pay $1(insert infinite number of zeros.)  a semester for college I would probably be devoted to academic pursuits also. I Don’t think my parents would be proud if they wasted all of their money putting  me through a higher level of learning  just so I could get a -5 in my chemistry class.

So, what do you think world? What are your definitions of the terms that I’ve discussed? Am I some where in the right field with my definitions or am I just crazy? Please leave comments, I’d really love to know what you all think.