Nice guys, nerds and confusion

November 17, 2010

Last night turned out to be one of those nights where I had to force youtube to conquer my ongoing battle with boredom. Eventually my youtube searching led me to watch several videos about the never ending debate of why nice guys finish last. Now I won’t get into the nice guy debate, that’s another blog for another day and I just don’t have the energy to even give my input on that subject. But what I will touch on, is what I see as a massive flaw as to what several peoples definition of what a nice guy was.

We need to get this clear people, a nice guy and a pushover ARE NOT SYNONYMOUS, I repeat are NOT SYNONYMOUS. I don’t know who told you that these terms were the same thing but whoever gave you that information should be scissor kicked in the forehead.

Allow me to give you my Minilaptop definitions of these terms and examine them further.

1. Pushover- An individual who is severely lacking in the area known as the backbone. This person exhibits qualities of not being able to defend themselves in verbal confrontations and may even go as far as to switch their view on a certain subjects to align with the opposing party just to avoid the inevitable tension. They may also have a very difficult problem of expressing themselves due to the  fear of the potential backlash that they may receive.

2. Nice guy- A respectful member of the male species. Has the ability to pay attention while in conversation with a female instead of just hearing “blah blah blah.” He is also able to be supportive in situations when needed and can handle confrontations in a reasonable fashion. Usually this person has a mid to high level of intelligence and is a pretty reliable human being. Common traits of a nice guy can be but are not limited to: Respectful, trustworthy and caring. There is also a chance that this individual may be a tad bit shy.

Now, anyone with at least half of a cranium can see that clearly the terms pushover and nice guy should not be used interchangeably. Both terms describe two types of people who couldn’t be more different. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not implying  that a pushover can’t be a nice guy or vice versa but, generally speaking in my eyes the core characteristics of each term share more differences than similarities.

And while I’m on the subject of terms and their definitions I must ask the world, what exactly is a nerd?

I used to have the tape problem, it was very uncomfortable.

Merriam Webster defines the word nerd as the following:  “An unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person; especially one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits.”

As soon as I read this definition I mentally drew that evil squiggly red line that Microsoft word uses to let you know when you’ve spelled something wrong.  Let me break this definition down so you can see why my four eyes found every thing with this definition to be incorrect.

An unstylish- I don’t think being unstylish has anything to do with being a nerd, it just means you don’t necessarily have the best fashion taste in mind.

unattractive- No explanation needed, it just means you’re facially challenged and by this definition all unattractive people would be nerds which you and I both know is very false.

Socially inept person- A.K.A. you’re just plain awkward, but a nerd? I don’t know, I’m just not seeing it.

one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits- This is the only part of the definition that I can slightly agree with. But at the same time I don’t fault anybody for being extremely smart, hell if I had to pay $1(insert infinite number of zeros.)  a semester for college I would probably be devoted to academic pursuits also. I Don’t think my parents would be proud if they wasted all of their money putting  me through a higher level of learning  just so I could get a -5 in my chemistry class.

So, what do you think world? What are your definitions of the terms that I’ve discussed? Am I some where in the right field with my definitions or am I just crazy? Please leave comments, I’d really love to know what you all think.



  1. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a “nice” guy, and don’t think they finish last at all. Sure, maybe growing up every girl in school wants to be friends with the badasses (mostly), but in life as a whole, I think those categorized as “nice guys” actually make it farther and possibly enjoy life even more.

    I know a bunch of guys that could fall into the “nice” label and do well for themselves and have great relatioships. If you fall into the “pushover” category, then you need to do some soul searching and find who you are and stop being what everyone else wants you to be.

  2. I’ve always gone for nice guys, and personally have never been attracted or interested in assholes one bit, though I know all of my girls I work with love a guy who treats them like crap. Like that makes any sense at all, but to them it does make sense.

    I consider myself a nerd, and weird too, but I definitely don’t think that you should go with dictionary terms because they don’t explain things well enough. I think that it is someone who spends a lot of time electronically and understands how it works with computers, the internet, etc.

    • Weird is good, at least in my opinion. Under your definition i’m half of a nerd, I spend a lot of time electronically but I have no clue how any thing works, I just click and move lol.

  3. I completely agree with this post. Nice guys are sometimes pushovers, but there are a lot who are not.

    Also, I only date nerds. I think they are awesome (when they are not socially inept) and they’re pretty much the only kinds of people that seem to get me.

    I think that the same can be said about being “nice” for girls though. I don’t sleep around, and I don’t hide the fact that I am, well, not dumb. But sometimes I wonder if I would attract more guys if I acted dumb. Probably wouldn’t attract good ones, though. 🙂

    • A woman with smarts is the sexiest thing ever :). Thumbs up for giving nerds a chance, they’re societies unsung hero’s.

  4. As far as pushover and nice guys go, you’re so right.

    I LOVE nice guys, by the way. I love nice and funny. That’s my type.

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