No kind person, I do not own a cell phone

August 25, 2010

I do NOT own a cell phone, yes, let that statement sink in. I’m probably the only person in the United States of America without a handy dandy cell phone. While the rest of the free world carries around their new Droid/Iphone/Blackberry or whatever new phones have the same monetary value as a car payment,  the only things that I hold captive in my jean pockets are my wallet and my trusty 80 Gb Ipod classic.

As soon I begin to utter the words “I don’t have a cell phone” to somebody the immediate response is “Oh my god, I would die without my cell, how do you not have one?” Well my response to that my fellow cellular dependent friend is once you’ve gone 21 years without something it pretty much becomes an afterthought. I find it hard for me to hold an item in such high regard if I’ve never even owned it, not to mention that I don’t really associate with that great a number of people so I really don’t feel the need to carry a cell phone around. In most instances when I really need to get in contact with someone I use my home phone, (You know, the one that isn’t wireless and has a cord attached to the wall.) Facebook (Very reliable), or occasionally I use a payphone.

Ha, I bet you thought these didn't even exist anymore.

Now I don’t want you to get the impression that I’m completely anti cell phone, even though I don’t own one it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t acknowledge some of its benefits:

1. Instant communication through texting.

2. It’s helpful in emergency situations.

3. GPS (Thank god for this, my navigational skills aren’t too sharp)

Where are we going again?

But on the other hand there are some cell phone tactics that kind of annoy me:

1. People calling you just to tell you to text them- Cell phones might as well not even have microphones anymore, no one ever talks.

2. Useless cell phone apps- “I have an app that can take me through intergalactic space travel and it tells me how far I am from Jupiter.” Well, when your cell phone has an app that gives you a brain feel free to call me.

3. Sometimes it’s hard to convey tone through a text message unless you put “lol” or a smiley face at the end of every sentence.

Now I’m sure eventually I’ll own a cell phone, I won’t be a dinosaur and not adopt to modern times. But as for now I’ll manage to survive without a cellular device, with 21 years of veteran non cell phone experience I’m sure I’ll do just fine.



  1. I own a cell phone but it wasn’t until just recently. I use it only for talking, and the only person I talk to is mainly my Mom, so I can understand not having one. Saves you money too!

  2. I’ve heard the cell phone been referred to as a wireless “leash.” So, you are FREE from the leash!! 🙂 I went without a cell phone for 2 months once, and it was pretty liberating. I do,however, look forward to getting a new Android and my first app will be WORDPRESS for Droid!!! 🙂 I’m excited about that!!!

  3. this is too old fashion.

  4. i have no idea how to respond to this… lol “does not compute does not compute”

    nah i kid. ive gone without a cell phone before, whenever I travel from australia to north america and central america because our phone systems are different and roaming is just too damn expensive. at first i feel naked, then i feel alone, then i feel abandoned, then anxious as i have no idea wats happening or have the ability to just text someone to confirm that people out there still exist…. then eventually i forget i dont have it and its all fine haha.

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