Facebook shenanigans

August 6, 2010

Facebook might be the most beautiful ugly website ever created in the history of mankind. The joy of reconnecting with old friends and networking make it quite a useful tool but there are also some facebook practices that need to cease to exist immediately. Certain facebook shenanigans make the website a pain to look at, I know you can’t police the internet but there needs to be some guidelines that we should follow so the facebook experience can be pleasant for us all.

So with that said, the following activities need to come to an abrupt halt for facebook users:

1. One week anniversaries need to stop immediately. I know you love your “booski” but one week is not an accomplishment and should not be celebrated as such. I know you have feelings for your significant other and all but you don’t need to flood my news feed with your lovey dovey anniversary statuses every five seconds. Usually this is the person that ends up being single in one months time anyway.

2. If you find that your relationship status switches every other day, do me and the rest of the facebook world a favor and just stay single. Please, pretty please, no one enjoys seeing your roller coaster statuses of being Ms/Mr love bug one second and then in the next you’re quoting depressing r&b songs.

3. We all have the right to free speech but there are some things that should just remain in your head and should never be typed. Statuses about you using the bathroom or anything describing you “gettin it in” as I like to call it should just remain as thoughts and not typed for the world to see.

4. If you post all of your relationship info on your statues and then wonder why you’re single the next day then go jump off a cliff.

5. Can we please stop taking these bathroom mirror pictures? Especially when you take 20 of them in five minutes. You look exactly the same in the first picture as you do in the last one, your mirror isn’t magical, in five minutes your appearance really hasn’t changed that much.

6. Please refrain from posting any wise or insightful quotes that I and the rest of humanity know you don’t live by.

7. If you are over the age of 18 yu Shud N0t b3 tYp1ng lyke th1s. I shouldn’t have to strain my eyes so I can decipher the hieroglyphic sentence you just typed. A little grammar never hurt anybody.

8. Pertaining to relationships anybody 21 and under should never post any status that has the word “love” in it. 95% of my generation has no clue what that word means but we toss it around like it’s a fad.

9. Don’t send out invites to a party that’s almost located on another planet, not many of us have frequent flier miles.

10. Last but certainly not least, do NOT I repeat do NOT send me a friend request and then after I accept it, turn around and ask me who I am. This shenanigan will surely get you deleted at the speed of light.

So, if we can manage to reduce the number of times that these ten things I just posted happen, I’m sure facebook can become a much more enjoyable website. Feel free to add any other suggestions that you might have.



  1. You’re funny 🙂 I like it!

    • Thank you miss malavika 🙂

      • So, who are you?

      • Nobody special, just a regular guy doing some late night blogging because i can’t sleep, yourself?

  2. I gotta give it to you cuz if its tool time you just hit the nail on the head ever time and thats alot of nails

    • lol, thanks man. Just trying to spread the good word around, gotta inform the people.

  3. Me too. Except I’m a girl. And I am starting to get sleepy, heh.
    Entertaining blog 🙂
    What’s your name?

    • Thanks for reading my stuff, my name is mike.

  4. “there are also some facebook practices that need to cease to exist immediately” haha, I love your writing style! That made me laugh out loud!

    Keep blogging!

    sweet dreams,
    – Malavika

    http://www.malavikasuresh.wordpress.com I just started my blog 🙂

    • I skimmed through your page, you have some good stuff, i’ll actually give it a read tomorrow, right now my eyes are telling me i should be sleep lol.

  5. hahha omg too funny. especially the status things. Trust me, a lot of my friends are in their late 20’s some in their 30’s and they STILL do a lot of 1-6 haha .. most of them have been defriended.

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